HARLAND, rebecca elizabeth

[strangerdanger]

i get all numb

--------------& it's rebecca elizabeth harland to you.
----------------------------- ( don't leave me here by myself. i can't breath. )

gender; female
age; 17
orientation; bisexual

when she sings it's over

build; tall and skinny
height; 5'9"
weight; 110
hair; brown, dyed blond
eye; blue
overall; Becky has a rather boyish figure; her face could be pretty if she ever put some work into it to make herself more presentable. She shuns all forms of girly clothes and effects, make-up and hair products and tight-fitting things to show off whatever she has of a shape. Growing up being told that she was the ugly sister, Becky didn’t do anything to go against that title that her dad gave her. Her wardrobe consisted of hand-me-down clothes from her cousins and things that her dad was going to throw away. Becky likes skinny jeans or baggy cargo pants and t-shirts that don’t show off anything; she’s never thought of herself as having anything that should be shown off so she just bypasses fashion altogether and goes for what’s comfortable and what can last a long time. Big sturdy boots are the only article of clothing that she really liked to wear at all times. As far as her face goes, she has a heavy brow and a pointed chin. When she isn’t smiling she tends to look pissed off or worried. She hides her blue eyes behind her scraggly half-dyed hair and finds a frown to fit much more comfortably on her face than a smile.

such a strange numb

personality; Becky doesn’t pride herself on being anything special; she left that to her perfect older sister and her mother, the same person split into two bodes as far as she was concerned. She was beat down to think that she would never be anything other than ordinary, if even that, and instead of beating back against it Becky just nodded and she also saw herself as that ugly little boyish thing. She considered herself to be around because if there were beautiful people in the world, there were also ugly ones. It was the equation balancing itself out, right? Becky was quiet as a child and only spoke at length, meaning more than just a few words, when she was around cousins and boys that she was comfortable with. She was and still is confident in her ability to take care of herself when she really needs to but that is the only thing that she is confident in. Everything else is adapted to what people think of her; she will believe what they say because she thinks she’s too weak to decide for herself what she should be like. Instead, she conforms to what other people want, like playing a part. Alone though, she can be whoever she wants. That quiet ugly kid who wandered off in the rain all the time with no umbrella.

strengths; • even temper; she isn't prone to getting annoyed easily or going off on people for no reason. • self-control; in her family that is a strength. • self-reliance; she can take care of herself when she needs to, and the situation has often called for it. • fishing; she used to go with her cousins when she was young and hasn't lost her talent for it.

weaknesses; • trust; she has issues with trusting people and often finds it hard to tell when people are lying to her. • education; becky is street-smart but she didn't fare so well in school and dropped out two years into high school. • violence; she hates it and would prefer to deal with things through other means. • people skills; becky doesn't like to talk to people most of the time. it needs to be her idea.

likes; • little kids • cats • walking in the rain • watching storms • big work boots

dislikes; • driving • her dad • being called the ugly one • dresses and skirts

[/td]
[/td][/tr][/table]
inventory;
- hunting knife
- swiss army knife
- cigarettes
- CD player + CD
- lighter
- fishing line[/blockquote]

and it brings my knees to the earth

family;

father; john harland (deceased)
mother; jennifer roderick (deceased)
siblings; whitney rene roderick harland (sister) (deceased)
spouse; n/a
children; n/a
other; sarah roderick (aunt) (deceased)

birth place; rutherford, new jersey
history; Becky never knew very much of her mother, something her father chose to exploit at every opportunity that he got. She saw pictures of a beautiful woman who looked nothing like Becky and it made her view the woman as something untouchable, not even a person but a being that she could look up to like God. But it was a character and not a person, a two-dimensional picture that could never help her or take care of her. When she was in middle school, she fell out of the worship she felt for her mother, a woman that she never knew. She tore up all the pictures that she knew of and threw them away, threw away the memories of a woman that could do nothing but smile on a piece of paper, a fake stupid smile, blank in the eyes.

Becky’s parents split up after she was born. She never knew the reason for the split; she didn’t dare ask her dad and her sister was also very young and she didn’t remember either. When she was older and living for that short time with her aunt she learned that they had only stayed together for as long as they did because they had two daughters, and when they drank they fell in love all over again. It wasn’t enough to keep any people together and Becky understood that. Whitney was born about a year and a half before her little sister and she was the epitome of the perfect daughter. She was beautiful and smart, like an angel of a child with golden hair and fair skin. Her smile could light up a dim room, just like her laugh. She was her father’s pride and joy. He treated her like a doll and a prized possession for as long as she would let him, which was until her death at the hands of that virus. She loved that lifestyle of being pampered and treated like a little princess. There were times when Becky was so jealous of her sister that she could have been murderous; her life was a hell, miserable and lonely. But she did nothing.

The girls lived with their father after their mother left, returning to her home in England where she stayed with her sister until she could get her life together again as a single woman. She cut off any and all communication with her previous family until she found out that Whitney was being shown off in pageants and beauty contests, taking home cash prizes and titles that helped to support her family. While Whitney’s life went on exactly as she wanted it to on a nice comfortable cloud, Becky was living the other side of it. She was after all the ugly to Whitney’s pretty. She went to school where she was teased for her father’s behaviors and her sister’s bitchy attitude; she never made a grade that wasn’t below average and her father used that as a target to pick on her, like he needed more things to use against her.

When she wasn’t at home being tortured, mostly verbally but sometimes physically, depending on how much he had been drinking, she was hanging out with boys. A lot of them were older than her with brothers and friends in her grade; they teased her as well, but in a playful way. Becky found a place there with people who didn’t care so much about where she was coming from, though she was still kind of quiet around them. At thirteen she was smoking and drinking and getting high with them, unknown to her dad and her sister. She had sex before her sister did with one of her friends, which she always kept to herself when she was around her sister. It made her feel better, knowing what that felt like when the other girl didn’t, despite all her good looks and her charm. Becky imagined all of the things she would have liked to do to her sister and her dad, the bad things. Always just thoughts. She told no one the extent of them.

Becky was almost fifteen when her father died. He fell down one night after he’d been drinking and hit his head on the kitchen floor. No one else was around and he wasn’t found until nearly three hours later when Whitney arrived home. The girls were sent to the only relatives they had that would take them: their mother and her sister. Whitney was excited to leave and to be with a woman who was just as beautiful and selfish as she was. Becky wasn’t so thrilled but she found a kind of refuge in her aunt, Sarah. She had been through something similar to what Becky was going through at the time, only she had been much stronger about it and held her own against her sister. Becky had never had a female friend like her before, or indeed a female friend at all. She was just far more comfortable when they weren’t around to compare herself to.

The relationship was short-lived as the virus spread everywhere. The older women died first, leaving Whitney in a state of perpetual panic. Becky figured that she thought that her good looks and her princess-attitude would protect her from the sickness, but that wasn’t what happened. Becky was left alone in the city after that. Two years she wandered through the streets, as she is still doing today.

and god bless you all

alias; MJ or strangerdanger
age; 18
experience; bit more than a year
sample;

Sept 2, 2009 23:30:02 GMT -5 @jude said:

I FELL IN LOVE, IN LOVE WITH YOU SUDDENLY
NOW THERE'S NO PLACE ELSE I COULD BE BUT HERE

[/color]
_______________________[/size][/font][/center]

He didn’t notice it was snowing all that hard until he was walking to his last class of the day and he had to walk out of the building to get to another on campus. He didn’t think anything of it that morning when he first got to school. It was winter; snow was to be expected when it was that cold. Some years were worse than others and it was looking like this winter was one of the worst that Nathan could remember. He was almost looking forward to when the snow finally stopped falling in such heavy amounts and he could walk outside without feeling like he was frozen to the bone every time. It was great discomfort to anyone who walked around the city as much as he did on a daily basis, but his scars always ached far more noticeably in really cold weather and he hated that the most, especially his leg. He could hide it from other people most of the time but being outside for too long made him feel like he was walking with a limp again like when he had first left the hospital after the accident. It was probably just in his head but it wasn’t a good feeling to have.

Because it was always snowing these days and the winter was still clinging to the first months of the new year, Nathan didn’t think anything of it. He walked quickly through the campus to get to his last class and it was only once he got there that he took notice, looking outside from the second story window, that it really was far heavier a snowfall than was normal, even for this time of the year. Almost automatically he wondered where Satine was, though he knew that she wasn’t outside, or that she more than likely wasn’t. The last time he saw her, she was still in bed and he didn’t want to wake her. She didn’t have any classes and he wasn’t going to ruin that opportunity for her to sleep in while she had it. He kissed her hair, admired her for a moment before he got dressed and left. Nathan assumed that she would still be at his apartment when he got back and they could waste away the rest of the day while he could forget his homework until the last minute. He usually did; it wasn’t procrastination. Nathan was confident in his ability to get all of his work done at the last possible minute.

His professor had the radio on when he walked in and the other few students there were listening to it and making vague conversation about whether classes would be cancelled for the rest of the day or not. Nathan listened for a minute before he looked outside and thought that they would for sure cancel classes. As far as he could see, it was pretty white. That was never good and with students unable to get home or get to the college without risking bodily harm, there was no way the administration would allow it. Besides, the last classes ended in about two hours anyway and could be made up easily when the weather was better. It wouldn’t be the first time and neither would it be the last. So Nathan waited around for that early dismissal, leaning against the wall, glancing out the window every now and again, thinking about Satine, hoping that she wasn’t outside in this storm. Apparently it wasn’t going to be getting any better soon and would keep on going heavily throughout the night. His concern was that he wouldn’t be able to get home from the college, but he thought about it and he decided that he would risk it. It wasn’t that far to walk and taking a cab, though more comfortable, would take too long. He didn’t need that aggravation.

The word came shortly and they were all out of the door quickly with a word of cautious safety from the teacher and to each other as they went their separate ways. Nathan slung his bag over his shoulder and shoved his hands deep into his pockets, walking as far as he could through the building before he had to go outside and he braced himself for the cold and vicious wind that he knew would await him. It hit like icy needles all over his face, the only part of him that was exposed to the harsh weather. He kept his gaze fixed to the ground, his eyes stinging quickly from the snow, and luckily for him, he could navigate his way through those streets closest to his apartment with barely any need to look up to see where he was. He did this every day; it wasn’t a problem for him. He was slowed down more by trying not to run into other people crunching through the snow and ice and the wind that kept battering him.

He breathed a soft sigh as he entered the lobby of his building. He waved towards the woman behind the front desk; the little woman was constantly friendly, and Nathan always found some strange familiarity and comfort in knowing that she was there. Better inside than out in the storm. He took the elevator up to his apartment on the top floor, shaking the melting snow out of his hair and off of his coat, loosening his scarf around his neck. His fingers were still numb and he didn’t think that he could feel his toes but he was inside so he wasn’t going to complain. The elevator doors opened and he unlocked the door to his place, after fumbling with his icy fingers for the keys once, and he was immediately pleased to see that Satine was there. His mind had been running over what he was going to do if she wasn’t, in the small possibility that she wouldn’t still be there. Nathan closed the door behind him and looked over to her, silhouetted against the windows. “Does it look as bad from up here?” He asked, knowing that it would. He had seen it many times over the years of living there.


clothes

[/quote][/blockquote][/size]

for the song you sang, saved us

[romain zadok fontenot]

ACCEPTED!
Welcome to our family. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.